Re: Welcome to Snooth!

My friend Mark works for Snooth.com, “The world’s largest and fastest growing community of wine lovers.”  Occasionally, Mark gets some great spam. This one takes the cake.

THE best Nigerian spam email I’ve ever seen. Behold!:

from: Eric
to: Mark
date: June 10, 2009 10:47:25 PM EDT
subject: Re: Welcome to Snooth!

HELLO ……………………WORLDS BIGGEST FOOL

I KNOW UR SECRETS —- UR A MUGU OF THE HIGHEST ORDER

UR FATHER WAS A GBOMOGBOMO WHO DO RITUALS AT OKIJA SHRINE FOR MONEY.
BUT HE GOT NO AMU AFTER GETTIN IT CHEEWED OF BY A GAYMAN IN DA CAFE.
NA SO?

UR MAMA WAS PROPPER ASHAWO AT DEY SHORT TIME JOINTS IN FEGE-ONITSHA.
DOG NA HORSE DEY FUCKIN UR MOMMA BUT UR FUCKIN MOMMA TOTO DEY TOO WIDE
& DEEP. UR MAMA HAVE GONORIHA. HER TOTO STINK LIKE ROTED PIG ON ROAD.
IT BE SMELLING UP NAIJA. NO BI?

UR A IIDIOT MUMU N LOVE TO SUCK THE AMUS OF DEAD GOATS N LITTLE BOYS
IN SMALL VILLAGES IN BENIN. U R A LADYBOY WIT DEY HIV. IIDIOT LIKE U
CANOT MAKE ONE NAIRA FROM THIS BUSINESS. MUGU LIKE U. U WILL DIE A
CHURCH RAT N TRUCK PUSHER

GOD WILL PURNISH YOUR WHOLE GENERATION U OSU. A MAD MAN WILL PREGNANT
UR JUNIOR SISTER AND THE BABY WILL BE A MAD BASTARD LIKE U

U IDIOT! U HE GOAT! U WEAKLING !


YOUR FRIEND ERIC OKAFOR

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7 Comments

Filed under Best of the best, spam in general

7 responses to “Re: Welcome to Snooth!

  1. Apparently, in scammer lore (which I discovered by Googling it and clicking the first link) a “Mugu” is a “big fool”.

    I can’t help with “Gbomogbomo”, but I think it’s a not-for-profit organization having to do with Agriculture? This is a high Nigerian insult, to call someone’s father an NPO.

  2. Pingback: THE KING OF POP STAR(DONATION) « This is an absolute spam carnival!

  3. Eileen

    Oh my damn, that was FABULOUS!!! Where can I sign up for one of those emails?

    My fave part? “Signed, your friend, Eric”
    hehehe

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